Childhood horror stories

While playing online, my friends began discussing a whole lot of funny stories, worthing of being immortalized online forever. I've copied and published them here so that you can enjoy and laugh as hard as I did.

faerienne: when I was born on his 6th bday, my mom said happy bday, you have a baby sister, and he said take her back, I want a bike!

Josiah: When my mom was going to announce that she was pregnant with me, she told my sibs that we were getting a new addition. My brother John blurted out "a puppy?!".

The Mother Of All That Is Evil: my middle sister tried to squish my youngest sister "back to where she came from" by sitting on her
and bouncing a lot.

HarmonyGrace: My sister used to tell perfect strangers that Elvis was her dad

tivolimom: we told my little sister that mom found her in the back of an amc gremlin at the salvage yard.

tivolimom: mom wasn't happy

hamster_sandwich: my brother made me believe i was hatched once

insanelark: When I was born & the my mother told the nurse my name, she left to give my mom a chance to think about it. (I'm Jasa)

Lizita: my brothers varied between telling me I was adopted and that I was the first test tube baby.

Being thought we lived at K-Mart and would tell strangers that :/

belsonc: my siblings used to make faces at me when i was on my back in the crib, then slowly move around the crib until they were behind me, making my eyes roll back in my head...

tivolimom: my daughter used to tell perfect strangers that her daddy was at home drunk. again. funny thing? he doesn't drink.

faerienne: my brother told me I was the free one in the buy one get one, and that my parents bought our toilet and found me floating in it when it was delivered

hamster_sandwich: when my dad used to make me mad in public, i'd start yelling 'rape' as loud as i could

tivolimom is ashamed to admit that she taught tivlet the elder to yell 'whoo hoo mama' out the car window.

Lizita: my brothers also used to put clown masks on, turn out all the lights, and chase me around the house.

Lizita: I still remember shuddering in the corner and saying "clowns are nice" and my brother saying "not this clown" right before he attacked.

veranique: my kindergartner son wrote a paper for his teacher that told about our kol new year's party saying that he dressed as a sauceror and his sister was a demon ninja

Josiah admits that he taught his son, albeit unintentionally, to say "I'm going to eat that friggin' dog" one day. Long story.

faerienne: my brother held me in a chair and made me watch the exorcist when I was little, then hid under my bed and shook it, then bit my hand when I had it down beside the bed